Breaking Down Halloween Candies

I was always told that I was a grumpy child, not a happy, standard one.  I hated halloween.  Hated dressing up in stupid costumes ever since I could remember.  Never had a sweet tooth, just wanted to take some Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups from my next door neighbor and head home and chill.  Here are my thoughts/rankings on halloween candies.

Top 5

5. Skittles: Skittles are great, and are only this low due to the fact I can’t have bags on bags on bags.  (Red, yellow, orange, green, purple, that order)

4. Hershey’s Kisses: I feel like these kinda get lost in the discussion of candies because they aren’t that common but I’ve seen ‘em in my fair share of doorside cauldrons, and they are unbelievable.  Can pop kisses for days.

3. M&M’s: You won’t meet someone who doesn’t like mac and cheese, or M&M’s.  Facts.

2. Twix: If you disagree with the top two you’re wrong.  Twix are a superior candy in every aspect.  The right amount of crunch, caramel and all that shit.  Hats off to the creator of Twix.

1. Reese’s anything: No need to explain.  Perhaps the best combo of anything ever.  

Snickers/Three Musketeers/Baby Ruth

Never had any of these, and at this point in the game I don’t see a need to try it now.  If I like one of them I’ll be pissed I’ve been missing out, and if I don’t like them I wasted my time.

Other Halloween Notes

  • Nothing wrong with those halloween themed tiny pretzels once in a while
  • One of the old ladies in my neighborhood used to give out fucking dimes
  • I’ll be saying fuck Twizzlers ’til I’m 6 feet under
  • No respect for that Runts, lollipop, Life Savers etc. bullshit, give out classics and people are gonna be happy
  • Raisins are far and away the worst thing I’ve ever seen in a bucket on a porch, I’ll go dimes over raisins every time
  • Candy corn can fuck off

P.S.  Fuck Peyton.

Michael Vick and 50 Cent Confusing the Shit Out of Me on Facebook

Without Twitter and Instagram, I often scroll through the world of Facebook and today I stumbled upon these posts…

connect inmate

Connect Inmate baby!  Damn Mike, you were doing great, just silently hanging out on the sidelines waiting for foot fairy Rex to start you, trying to keep the words “dog” and “jail” out of all Michael Vick related news.  Don’t know what this is doing for you though.  Either way Michael Vick endorsing some sort of product for inmates is hilarious.  And can you just have iPhones in jail?  Mike would know, so I guess so.  Maybe the whole “prison is scary” thing is just exaggerated by the media.  If I had to guess, I’d bet jail is probably just a bunch of dudes playing Words With Friends all day.

50 lgbt

Now this wasn’t posted by 50 but he was mentioned in it so I saw it (obviously I like him on Facebook).  The first thing I thought of when I saw this is how ridiculous it is to spread awareness of LGBT youth homelessness as opposed to youth homelessness in general.  If I was homeless and I asked 50 for some help would he spit on me because I have a girlfriend?  My next thought was the connection between 50 and these gay kids.  No clue why he chose this as a charity to endorse.  There are thousands of other charities out there and literally the ninth word in “Straight to the Bank” is “faggot”.  Don’t know how 12 year old Pierre would like that one.  Weird shit 50.

New York Mets Offseason Preview

Football is in full swing, hockey is back, the return of basketball looms, and for an 8th consecutive season, the MLB playoffs are going on without the New York Mets. It was 2 years of heartbreaking collapses, and 6 years stuck in baseball purgatory that brings the Amazins to the point they currently sit. We saw a better baseball team in 2014 than we did in previous years, and with the return of Matt Harvey on the horizon, it’s time to be optimistic in Queens.

Let me start by saying that you are a fool if you don’t see the potential in this Mets pitching staff. We can’t expect Matt Harvey to be exactly what we saw in 2013, but he still has a chance to be one of the best pitchers in baseball. 2014 let us see the emergence of likely NL Rookie of the Year Jacob deGrom, a guy that scouts really overlooked in their evaluations of the Mets young pitching. Zack Wheeler had a rough start to the year, but finished by looking flat out dominant at some points. His lack of longevity is still an issue, but let’s remember that the guy is still only 24 years old. Jon Niese had a solid year, and is a very good left-handed starter to have if he stays healthy. Dillon Gee was bit by the injury bug, and had a shaky year, but let’s not forget about his very efficient 2013. Bartolo Colon won 15 games and was an innings eater, but the logical thing to do now is for the Mets to trade the 41 year old. Noah Syndergaard had his struggles in AAA and didn’t get that September call-up as was expected, but scouts still consider him to be one of the best pitching prospects in the game. The 5 spot in the Mets rotation is certainly up for grabs, and guys like Montero and Matz can also compete for it along with Gee and Syndergaard.

The Mets bullpen this year was as good as we have seen in a very long time. This can definitely be attributed to the emergence of more live, young arms. Mejia was shaky at times, but still saved 28 games. Familia was a great set up man who will likely get some ROY votes. Vic Black showed he could be another solid reliever, posting a 2.60 ERA. Carlos Torres is a good long man to have, and can make a spot start when called upon. Josh Edgin was a very capable lefty out of the pen, as was Dana Eveland. But, I would like to see the Mets pursue a guy like Andrew Miller to be their lefty specialist. Putting some more young arms into the bullpen if there’s no room in the rotation is something the Cardinals have done for years, and that should be a model the Mets follow. The closer position is still up for grabs in my opinion, and I actually would like to see Familia in there instead of the erratic Mejia. The bullpen has always been an issue in Queens, but could really be one of their strong points in 2015 with the OODLES of young pitching they have.

Now to the offense. An obvious positive to take away from 2014 was the emergence of Lucas Duda. Tip of the cap to Sandy Alderson for sticking with him over Ike Davis. The guy only finished 3rd in the NL in HRs and 5th in RBIs. Daniel Murphy is a solid 2 hitter who will play almost every day, hit around .300, and hit 35 doubles. Travis d’Arnaud played much, much better after being sent down to AAA. 20 home runs for him is not too much to ask for at all. Curtis Granderson got off to a horrid start, and was really inconsistent at times, but still managed to hit 20 big flies. The new Citi Field dimensions should help him bump those HR totals up. Another player the new dimensions in right center should help is David Wright. Wright played with a hurt shoulder for most of the year, and put up some pretty bad numbers. I don’t think he is done at all though, as some have speculated. He’s finally got some protection in the order, and if healthy, can return to the David Wright of 2012. Another guy you can pencil into the line-up next year is Juan Lagares. He’s the best defensive center fielder in baseball, and has a solid bat too. Now the obvious gaping holes in the Mets lineup is in left field and at shortstop. I don’t think they need a guy who will hit 30 HRs in LF. Those are very hard to come by nowadays, and aside from Nelson Cruz (who the Mets can’t afford), guys like that aren’t available in free agency this winter. A guy who is available is Michael Cuddyer. He’s 36 years old, but won the batting title in 2013. Plus, he’s old buddies with David Wright, so Queens seems to be a possible destination. Shortstop needs to be addressed as well. Ruben Tejada isn’t cutting it anymore. Wilmer Flores has a nice bat, but I don’t think his offense makes up for his lack of defense. If we’ve learned anything from the KC Royals, it’s that defense should not be overlooked. A guy I’d like to see the Mets sign to play SS is Jed Lowrie. He had some injury problems this year, but had 15 HRs, 75 RBIs, and hit .290 in 2013. Pretty much anything would be an upgrade over what is at SS currently.

So if I haven’t already convinced you, I expect the Mets to be in contention for the post season in 2015. They need to make moves to get this team over the hump. Seeing a team like the Royals convinces me even more that the Mets have a shot. The Mets have a better rotation than KC, and we all know pitching is what wins you games in October. That and timely hitting. A few more key additions offensively and I can see this team winning anywhere from 85-90 games in 2015. All you Yankees and Sox fans may laugh at this, but I cannot wait to bathe in your tears when the Mets rattle off 10 straight championships until 2024. The future is finally here Mets fans. It’s time to stop “waiting till next year”, and expect to see a winning team on the field now. But that is very dependent on how this offseason goes. Your move Sandy.

FTB Friday

This weeks FTB Friday goes to…. ME. That’s right Dart Boy Nation; Me. Suck it… I skipped woodsmen today to go to UConn’s First night #TeamKevin therefore, I am for the boys.

By the Boys. For the Boys. Darts. Get Buckwild

Status Update

Younghans is gone…. gone
James is gone…. gone
McGuigs is gone…. gone
Pat just inspected us for fire hazards…. hazards
We passed but only cause of James’ bravery…. bravery
I need to plug in my lava lamp again…. again
I’m alive and well. This is like the biggest wave I’ve ever ridden…. ridden

This is poetry right here. Its a true fiction that I’m experiencing and analyzing simultaneously.

FTB Friday

This weeks FTB Friday goes out to my Dad. I promised him I wouldn’t tell my Mother what he did for me, so I think that includes DBS Nation too. Believe me, FTB.

Nevermind, Without Derek Jeter, Playoff Baseball Isn’t the Same… Find Something Else to Watch

I sincerely apologize!  I should fire myself for writing my last article.  I’m so fucking dumb!  I completely spaced that baseball “isn’t the same” without Derek Jeter.  The game you’ve loved your whole life is a joke now.  Definitely not watching any playoff action and highly recommend that you do the same.  It’s so dumb that the MLB is still a thing without Jeter playing short for the Yankees.  Even more dumb that these playoff teams AREN’T wearing #2 patches.  If you can wear red, white, and blue on the 4th of July, you can at least redesign your jerseys for the playoffs so they can all have pinstripes.  RIP Derek.  #RE2PECT

derek jeter patches