Nevermind, Without Derek Jeter, Playoff Baseball Isn’t the Same… Find Something Else to Watch

I sincerely apologize!  I should fire myself for writing my last article.  I’m so fucking dumb!  I completely spaced that baseball “isn’t the same” without Derek Jeter.  The game you’ve loved your whole life is a joke now.  Definitely not watching any playoff action and highly recommend that you do the same.  It’s so dumb that the MLB is still a thing without Jeter playing short for the Yankees.  Even more dumb that these playoff teams AREN’T wearing #2 patches.  If you can wear red, white, and blue on the 4th of July, you can at least redesign your jerseys for the playoffs so they can all have pinstripes.  RIP Derek.  #RE2PECT

derek jeter patches

2014 MLB Postseason Predictions

Tonight and tomorrow night should feature the best baseball you’ll see all year.  The wild card games are absolutely electric and with big name starters throwing for all four teams, it’s going to so fun to watch.  I still feel like it’s pretty unfair for the home wild card team, being that one shitty game could cost them their season even if they were the second best team in the league.

Wild Card Games

AL: Love Shields to death, but Lester has the upper hand here, and the way Josh Reddick has been hitting, I think he’ll make the difference here.  Athletics 3-1.

NL: Everyone saw what a home-field advantage for Pittsburgh can mean and Edinson Volquez is sneaky having the best season of his career.  Same thing here, Bumgarner is a bonafide stud, but I’m taking the home field advantage.  Pirates 4-3.

Divisional Series

AL1: In a must-win season for them with so many guys becoming free agents and demanding money that they don’t have, I’ll take the A’s.  That Sonny Gray and Jon Lester combo is wow.  Losing Garrett Richards hurts big time for the Angels.  Athletics in 5.

AL2: I feel like I pick the Tigers to at least make it to the WS every year, but this year they have to.  Their rotation is too good to not dominate those scrappy Orioles.  VMart is having the best season of his life and they have some guy named Miguel Cabrera.  Tigers in 4.

NL1: The Nationals are the best team in baseball.  Although I have officially declared my hatred for them now that the Mets figure to be contenders for the division with them next year, there’s zero chance the Giants or Pirates can take down Washington.  Gio, Strasburg, Zimmermann, Fister, Roark, Clippard, Storen, Soriano?  Not fair.  Nationals in 3.

NL2: The Dodgers have two automatic wins, and I don’t think the Cards aren’t going 3-0 against the Kershaw-less Dodgers.  If he’s not facing Kershaw, Wainwright is too good to not pick up a win.  Dodgers in 4.

Championship Series

AL: I said it earlier, the Tigers rotation consisting of a bunch of workhorses is built for playoff success.  I don’t think the A’s have a lineup that can win four games against Scherzer, Price, and Verlander (he’ll come through this fall), but Sonny and Lester will keep it close.  Tigers in 6.

NL: I hope the NLCS is Nationals/Dodgers because that’s going to be some great baseball.  I think they’ll get a win off Kershaw (he’s never been himself in the playoffs) and be able to keep the Dodgers offense relatively quiet.  Kemp and Crawford hit like .600 in September so if they keep that up through the LDS I’ll guarantee this goes seven.  Nationals in 7.

World Series

The Tigers bullpen scares me way too much to pick them to win it all.  Yeah they’ll pose the biggest threat to the Nats’ pitching dominance but in close games you have to give the Nationals the upper hand.  They had that 73 straight walk off wins stretch in July.  They’re inexperienced in the playoffs, but built for the clutch.  Too good of a team.  Nationals in 6

I hate myself for taking the Nationals and I truly hope Bryce Harper goes 0 for the playoffs.  Fuck him.

2015 Playoffs Sneak Preview

The Angels rotation is healthy for this postseason and is going to handily take them into the world series with Mike Trout hitting .387 with an OPS of 1.231, but the Mets rotation makes them look like shit.  Harvey, deGrom, and Wheeler won’t allow an earned run all series.  Wright and Bautista in the middle of the lineup is all they need with the pitching they have.  Mets in 6.

 

A Drunk Rant on The 2014 Patriots’ Season Thus Far

This is essentially a rant on my angst towards Patriots football.  I’ll be shocked if this gets more than 4 views.

Through 4 games the Patriots have played one good half of football and it came against the Adrian “I’m Not Afraid To Use A Switch” Peterson-less Vikings.  The main reason I’m writing this is because I may or may not have gotten drunk during halftime, and it was the only way for me to cope with tonight’s MNF loss that’s going to have the whole world saying “Brady is done” or “the Patriots suck”.  While I’m going to stick up for my Patriots no matter what the situation, between them and Michigan this season, I’ve had an absurd amount of urges to punt babies/puppies off of bridges/buildings.  The only players I have been 100% satisfied with have been the kicker, punter, and special teams captain.  Fuck!

Tom’s been missing throws Tom doesn’t miss.  I don’t feel like looking up numbers but I know Ridley, Vereen, and Bolden didn’t even average 3.0 ypc against the fucking Raiders.  The wide receivers and tight ends have been getting a pretty bad rep from the media, but honestly I don’t blame them like everyone else does.  Tom understandably trusts Edelman and Gronk much more than any other pass catcher they have, but how can you blame guys like LaFell, Amendola, and KT85 when Brady’s constantly throwing 30 yard flys to a double covered Edelman, or trying to squeeze a pass that never had a chance to be caught up the seam to Gronk?  The offensive line’s struggles have been well-documented, and rightfully so, but the Mankins trade is also an unfair scapegoat for their woes.  Left guard has been shitty, whether it be Cannon, Connolly, or Kline, but Solder, Vollmer, and whoever’s been playing right guard has been just as bad!  Blame it on the Mankins trade all you want, but when Nate Solder legitimately looks like a high school tackle out there, it’s not just that trade.

Defensively, things were running quite swimmingly until tonight.  I had my worries about their physicality, third down defense, and inability to force three and outs, but allowing 16 total points in the past two games combined (albeit against Matt Cassell and Derek Carr), had me thinking they could figure it out and become the premier defense people expected them to be.  Nope.  Chandler Jones has been playing well, but not as well as the media thinks.  He’s invisible on some plays and gave up the edge to Jamaal Charles and Knile Davis all game tonight.  I hate to say it, but Vince isn’t what he once was, and while he’s still great, an interior combination of him and Chris Jones/Siliga/Vellano isn’t going to shut down any run games.  I’d give the overall defensive MVP so far to Dont’a Hightower.  Dude’s been straight cash homie.  I’ve lost count on Logan Ryan penalties, and Revis Island seems to be a past-its-prime resort.  Brandon Browner can’t come back soon enough.

Hey, well special teams has been awesome.  Gostkowski and Allen have been kicking the shit out of the ball and Matthew Slater might be the best player of all time.  Fuck this season.  2-2 is unacceptable.  It’s just funny that I’m worried a first round of the playoffs loss rather than not even making the playoffs.  You can book at least 10-6 and a trip to the playoffs.  Hopefully they’ll be healthy and functional by then.  0% chance anyone read this but I don’t care.  I’m drunk on a Monday and pissed the fuck off.  Fuck you.  Love DBS.

P.S.  Find me a better looking QB depth chart, you can’t.

tom brady jimmy garoppolo

FTB Friday

FTB Friday goes out to Mr. Derek Jeter… This has no correlation with his performance because he sucks. However, I’m thrilled he’s getting his old ass off the field and on to the golf course like any middle aged man should. Maybe the Sox will be able to make something out of next season now that he’s gone. Peace out Jetes, Go Sox!

Derek Jeter……You Ruin My Life

Now the intent of this blog is not to bash Derek Jeter. Can’t do it, won’t do it. The intent of this blog is to give you a little insight into why last night represented the 19 years of misery I’ve experienced as a sports fan. There’s few things on this Earth I love more than my New York Mets. And with that love of the Mets comes an utter hatred of the New York Yankees. The team that during my life, has won 5 World Series, and never finished with a losing record. Take a look at the Mets, and their loss last night officially gave them 6 straight seasons of losing baseball. So you can see why my blood boils with hatred for the Yankees and everything about them. And at the center of this evil empire for my entire life, has been none other than Derek Sanderson Jeter. New York’s Golden Boy. And after hearing about his greatness and his perfection for 6 long months, of course last night happens. Of course. It was a metaphor that sums up my entire sports life to a tee. And when I thought that it was finally the Mets turn in New York, that Jeter retiring would be the end of the Yankees as we know them, he goes out there and does something that I’ll have to hear about for another 10 goddamn years. Yeah it was meaningless because the Yankees are out of the playoffs, but literally any other ending would have been fine. I’ve come to the conclusion that the sports gods love seeing me miserable.
I honestly didn’t think last night could happen because it was too perfect, but of course it did. What kind of IDIOT would expect anything else? There has never been a symbol more perfect to personify the horrors of my sports life. But hey, at least Matt Harvey was there to see it 😃🔫. Derek fuckin Jeter.

Could RKY Get A Hit Off of Clayton Kershaw?

rky kershaw

Please read this article.  I know it sounds stupid putting a fat 19-year-old fuck who’s allergic to exercise in the same sentence as the guy who’s won the past three NL Cy Young’s and the past four NL ERA titles, but hear me out.  Our very own RKY has been saying for months that he could get a hit off of Clayton Kershaw if you give him 100 at bats and has been an ongoing debate since he brought it up.  The details are he’d have to use a wood bat, hit against a major league defense, and Kershaw would be on regular rest.  Really, the argument for both sides is simple:

Fuck no… Have you seen what some MLB hitters look like versus Kershaw?  And have you seen what RKY looks like in general?  He’d be lucky to get any contact at all.  Lefty-lefty matchup anyway pshhh.  Be happy with a foul tip tubby.

He might get one or two hits… Let’s not forget we’re dealing with a kid who hit 0.415 for his freshman team in high school after starting the season 0 for 2, and shit, he even won a few Baby Ruth’s (given out after every game to the most valuable hitter) his senior year.  But seriously, he could definitely make contact and get lucky with a blooper in 100 at bats.  Remember it’s at bats, not pitches, that’s like a fifth of a season for MLB hitters.  He’ll bloop one in.

I’m a proud supporter of #TeamRKY here.